{    Cnytr   }

Blargh, it's that kind of day. :P I stayed up till like 3:30 doing that stupid survey posted below, which only went up to question 300. Oh well, I don't think I'll do any more. It really is a waste of time. Well, not wholly -- the one quasi-perverted question #268 ("If sex was like eating an apple, how many apples would you eat a day?") got me starting thinking about some of the major themes in Till We Have Faces, as one of them seems to be loving and devouring, and the similarity of both to death. And so now I'm prepared for class today. [G]

I love West Point, and had I seen it and fallen in love with it earlier, I should have liked to apply there. However, I probably wouldn't survive there, because no matter what one's major is, all cadets graduate with a B.S., and I am emphatically not a math/science person. Just for all the math/science I'd have to take, I'd fail. No matter how much of my best I give to that stuff, it's never good enough. :P Also, intramurals are required. I stink at sports. [G] I used to play soccer, but our team lost every single game it played, and we stunk. I skipped gym all through 8th grade. I think the gym teacher thought I dropped out so he didn't even bother giving me a grade or something, so hahahaaa! I got away with noooo gyyyyyyym! *points and laughs* I could suck it up and do the PT, I think, if my ultimate goal was military. However that's another thing -- I'm not 100% sure about being in the military (and I never have been, I've been sure [and still am sure] I want to do ROTC, but that doesn't mean I'll ultimately end up in the military). Especially since I've more and more been thinking about parenting and a military career, as I think, for a girl, the two are mutually exclusive. At least, for me. I really don't know, that's what I've been trying to sort out in my head lately. On the one hand, I would love to serve my country in the military, and wouldn't give it a second thought if I knew I was going to be single till whatever point I would get out. However, I'm sure you've heard the phrase that "readiness for marriage is readiness for children" or something like that, and if I were to get married before or during my stint in the military, my duties would be divided between my country, and my husband/children, and because I would be contracted, my country would have to come first (e.g., I might have to be shipped out). But ... children should always come first over everything, and that's part of the readiness for children, sacrificing a lot of yourself for your children to put them first and raise healthy and Godly kids. Also, as much as I love doing stuff, feeling useful and being proactive, there's still a feminine/matronly instinct in me that wants to both protect and be protected and sheltered to some degree too, and having my husband stay at home to raise the kids while I'm out and being the breadwinner just seems to go against that in a lot of ways.

And I still think West Point rules. Others would laugh at me and say "that's because you don't live here," which I'm sure is true, I'm sure if I lived there and had to put up with plebe hazing and SAMI and CCQ and the like that I'd hate it like everybody else, but I'm also positive that once they're on the other side of that, they'll be glad for it. I don't know of one West Point grad who doesn't love his alma mater. And like most experiences, one appreciates them most from the other side. But of course, as a highschool senior, it is utterly ridiculous for me to say any of this. Maybe when I'm 30...

I'm tired. I think part of my problem is bad nutrition. I would never have thought of it nor believed my mom if/when she tried to tell me, but since I've heard it from Mrs. Laird, it's gospel truth, now. [G] I've been eating way too much Easter candy and not enough healthy stuff and stuff. But I'm lazy/tired and I don't like taking care of myself (in terms of, like, nutrition and the like; I still brush my teeth and wash myself and stuff. :P).

I've been the major talkative person in AP English class today, and that's a first. Well, I'll talk and won't shutup if it's something I feel like it's something about which I can say a lot. While I can't fully articulate what I think about Till We Have Faces, it's definitely something I've been thinking about lately, and I'm already familiar with Lewis and his collegues, theology, philosophy, religion, place of employment, etc. I've loved CS Lewis ever since I read the Chronicles of Narnia when I was a young thing. Then I read book 1 of the space trilogy (I've been told I MUST read them ALL and RIGHT AWAY [G]) and then ... I don't know when I started picking up his philosophy books, but they were what I cut my philosophical teeth on before I tried my hand at Aristotle (I picked up Aristotle when I was far too young, I didn't understand much at all, but I will admit what I did read of him then certainly gave me a good grounding for stuff later). I've always loved CS Lewis and I always will. I admit he's not perfect in any way, but ... I ... just love him, despite his flaws. Which is something I can't say about many authors at all. Usually when I find flaws in their philosophy or in their writing or something, I drop them like a hot brick. Or if not, I dismiss or disregard them probably much more than they deserve. At least I don't *love* them in the slightest. I tell myself I can't love flaws, or not flawed wisdom. But then that's not wisdom at all.

But speaking of flawed... thinking... the reason I'm talking so much is because I think DrMc's ideas about the book are all wrong, or at best ill-directed. He's trying to say that one of the points in TWHF was about self-image and self-awareness -- not in any PC kind of way (DrMc hates PC-ness as much as any normal person), but the focus seemed to introverted and petty for Lewis. Granted, given the veil that Orual wears and various other factors, perhaps that's what he's saying *in part*, but I think he was giving it way more focus than it deserved. I'd like to post the whole log, it was interesting, but that would be way too long/dull. [L]

READ LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!! ESPECIALLY READ RETURN OF THE KING!!!! DON'T QUESTION ME, DANGIT, JUST **DO** IT!!!!!! DO IT NOW!!!!!! >:O