{    Cnytr   }

{Wednesday, March 31, 2004  }

My Weird Friends...

Abe: I did something stupid. I was at the PX. There, I saw a five pound bag of gummy bears. The good, fruit juice kind. To give you a rough idea, that's about two or three gallon ziplock bags full. ANd I sat there, wondering why the heck someone would ever buy those. And then it started to bother me so much, that the problem took on a sort of metaphysical significance. So, in the interests of philosophy, I bought two. And now I'm wondering what to do with ten pounds of gummy bears. since it's after sundown, I started in, but I haven't made the slightest dent on one bag, and my stomach feels like a big gummy mass already. So I shall stop. But I'm not plagued with the equally metaphysical problem of what to do with these gelatinous beasts of the earth. So I sit here, listening to Norah Jones, Alan Jackson, and Willie Nelson, pondering. And ocassionally getting the urge to throw up.

Me: So randomly one day in Politics class, I started writing out the lyrics to "Come What May" and then I translated one part of it into Latin. Will you tell me how bad it is?
Tyler: I'll try. You'll have to give me the English, too, though.
Me: Ok. "Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly the world moves with such a perfect grace" I translated as
Sic perfecta gratia
movet subito mundum;
orbs videtur subito
sic perfectum locum
Tyler: grammatically it works just fine, I don't think it fits the tune, though you seem to have almost exactly the same number of syllables in each line.
Me: Ah. Is that good?
Tyler: the same number of syllables is good if you make a new tune to fit it; and the rhyme with "locum" and "mundum" is good. Try to translate some of the lines so that a.) you have the same number of syllables as the English, and b.) the stresses (or longs) of the Latin line up with the stresses of the English, more or less. Generally, if you keep the tune, the most important think is having the same number of syllables, because you can always butcher the Latin stress patterns to make them fit the English tune, and it's still fun. My high school Latin teacher used to give seminars at the JCL national convention on translating songs into Latin, we translated the "Hokey Pokey" once. And he had copies of "Respect" and "For the Longest Time" ("Diutissime... o o o ... diutissime"); nd I saw a Backstreet Boys song performed on stage once entirely in Latin and perfectly to the tune.

Also, Tyler translated "Mrs. Robinson":

Conjunx Robinson

At est tibi, Conjunx Robinson
Iesus t(e) amat magis quam tu sces (vo, vo, vo)
te beet, sis, Conjunx Robinson
Caelum servat loc(um) orantibus
(ei ei ei...ei ei ei)
cognoscere te placet nobis tabellariis
juvemus ut juvare discas te
circumspice, solum cernas passa lumina
spati(a) areas dum fias commoda

At est tibi, Conjunx Robinson
Iesus t(e) amat magis quam tu sces (vo vo vo)
te beet, sis, Conjunx Robinson
caelum servat loc(um) orantibus
(ei ei ei...ei ei ei)

Cel(a) id in latebra qua non ullus umqu(am) init
Pon(e) in cella cum libello tuo
est secretum, parvum (e)st, modo Robinsonibus
Maxime, id cel(a) ab illis liberis

Cu-cu ca-chu, Conjunx Robinson
Iesus t(e) amat magis quam tu sces (vo vo vo)
te beet, sis, Conjunx Robinson
caelum servat loc(um) orantibus
(ei ei ei...ei ei ei)

Cumbens quodam lectulo sera Dominica
gradens ad conversus candidos
id irride, id acclama
cum legendum sit
omni mod(o) undique perdis tu

Abisti quo, Joe DiMaggio
sic terra vertit oculos ad te (heu heu heu)
quid est dicas, Conjunx Robinson
Pellens Joe abit et hinc exit
(ei ei ei...ei ei ei)

(the best like is "Abisti quo, Joe Dimaggio...")
posted by Lauren, 11:20 PM | link

From Greek class last week:

a discussion about how to make yourself sound smarter by saying "[word] qua [word]", and "as such". I.e., "I'm sure you can't possibly mean that Plato truly pontificated upon the extistence of the existential Form qua Form, as such."

And on the topic of the text we're translating, "Hippolytus" by Euripides:

Tom: I think we're reading too much into the text to say that Hippolytus has something against women.
Mike: Tom, translation involves a bit of a leap.
Tom: What would you say, Tyler?
Tyler: I would agree with Mike qua Mike.
posted by Lauren, 1:18 PM | link | 0 comments

{Tuesday, March 30, 2004  }

I am continually more amazed with psychology. It's just ... cool. [G] I think it's the only class in which I have perfect attendence (or only one absence), and wouldn't have it any other way. I've only fallen asleep in class once -- unlike in politics, where I really do like class, but I ... just ... can't seem to stay awake sometimes! -- I'm always totally fascinated by everything, rapt in attention and taking floods of notes. Maybe it's just because I love my teacher -- she's so adorable, and she reminds me of my mom a little bit. She has young children, and she makes child and adolescent psychology really fun.

Today we talked a lot about child and adolescent psychology, gender typing and whatnot. I'm sure everyone has a tendency to do this, but when I learn this stuff I try to think back over my own life and see how I was. Some of it I don't remember. Some of it was much more recent and I can identify with it much more readily. For example, we were discussing adolescence and identity, how during that phase of life one tries out many different roles. There are some people who have always been told "oh, you're so smart" or "oh you're such a good athlete" or something, and they take that to be their only strength and they focus on what other people (ie parents) say about them and take that as who they are. Then suddenly they wake up one day and realize "wait a minute, this isn't what I want to do." Not only does this happen in adolescence, but in early college years and in the midlife crisis. I recently experienced this -- I took a lot of Greek and Latin in highschool beause, well, it was a classical online highschool. My favoritest teacher, Dr. McMenomy, was a PhD in classics, and he loved Greek (although primarily a Latinist). Magistra, the principal, was a loooot of fun, and she taught Latin. So I took Greek and Latin, though not quite as directly as I present them here. Nobody else I know aside from peers from school was classically educated, and people say "wow you know Greek AND Latin?" Especially dad -- dad used to praise my language skills, because he was never good at languages himself, and took typing instead of Latin in highschool.

The natural thing going to college was "hey, be a classicist!" So I said "sure, why not." So now I'm here, and thinking "WHY AM I A CLASSICIST?" I get a lot of answers from people, some of which are good and even convincing, but I don't *love* it. When mom and dad started to see I didn't want to be a classics major, they -- or at least dad -- tried to urge me to look at dentistry. In fact, he's urged all of us girls (myself and my two older sisters) to do something like that, be a dentist so one of us could take over the family business. It took with Steph, Steph became a dental hygeinist and she works for him now. She was taking some pre-req courses for dental school, but I think those fell through. Colleen also went the medical route and was a NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit) nurse. Eric, a CS major, is taking dental pre-req courses to go into dentistry school. I get the impression dad looks at me sometimes and thinks "well what about you? what will you ever amount to?" And ... I don't know. I like languages, yes, but I don't want to be a classics major.

How I started to like the Army is a long story. But I've always liked it in one way or another (even if it was just when I was 6, staying up late to wait for dad to come home from Army Reserve weekends so I could eat his leftover MREs and look at his camo and his boots ["why don't you wear that to work, daddy?"]), and the Army, if you let it, makes you mentally and physically disciplined -- something I like very much -- and will put me in a position to use whatever skills I have that they would help me hone. Plus, you get to run around and shoot things. Yes, guns used to scare me, but I always liked the girl who can defend herself -- Mara Jade, a quasi-dark Jedi and the Emperor's personal aide/secret service agent, was *the* coolest girl I knew of from 5th grade up until 11th grade or so. (She eventually turned good -- I wasn't looking at a villain as a role model, FYI). Thus, the Army began to really appeal to me. True, there were a lot of things that I thought were dumb about it, but I ... got used to them. Or I got used to thinking about them -- like the Army controlling my life for a while. That's the price you pay for specialized training and a guaranteed five-year job. I'd say it's a fair tradeoff.

However, when I expressed a desire for the Army and a desire to do ROTC, my parents flipped out, and from all sides I heard "this isn't like you! It's totally out of the blue!" I would kind of jealously think "how do you know?" :P I did wonder for a while whether I was completely out of my mind, but I was happily affirmed that I was not when I spoke to John Esposito one day. JohnE is a genius. He just is. We used to have long philosophical phone conversations, conversations that were so deep and significant that they could not be broken off though they lasted 5, 6 hours into the night. The only time we had anything remotely close to "small talk" was at the beginning of a conversation, before we tried to extrapolate deeper meaning from whatever. One evening, I told him I wanted to do ROTC and go into Intelligence and be a linguist. "Does this shock you?" I asked. "No, certainly not," he replied, "I see this coming directly from your desire to be useful."

And it was true. And I'm not out of my mind, not pulling this out of nowhere.

So but back to interesting psychology stuff applied to self, one thing I found interesting but no real satisfactory explanation for (if there even is one) is the "phenomenon" of girls who are tomboys or little boys who are a little bit effeminite. Dr. Novinski said that, even if their parents let them go off and do whatever, eventually they will have interaction with grandma or aunt Jo or see on t.v. that boys act one way and girls act another.
I remember when I was a kid, I was definitely a tomboy. I ran around in my overalls, hated wearing skirts, played with the little boys, climbed trees, caught lizards and crayfish and frogs and bugs (no spiders), ate bugs on a dare -- I was even mean in a boyish way (ie physically) instead of a girlish way (ie snubbishly). I remember when I was in 6th grade or so, my sister bribed me with something I wanted to dress up in a short skirt and a nice shirt and a pair of sandals, and to let her do my hair pretty and do something with my face -- makeup or something like that. She had to bribe me. [L] I hated it. [G] I think I started getting better at that in highschool, but I can't pinpoint exactly when or why (funnily enough, that's when I started homeschooling). Eventually I turned from my tomboyish self into a girl who hated getting her hands dirty and wouldn't be caught dead in sneakers or jeans. And again, I can't think of why. I don't think I had any kind of role model, and mom had given up on trying to make me girly at that point. It used to be that, when I was about 5, all I wanted was Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtle stuff ("heroes in a half-shell -- turtle power!"), but she wouldn't let me have any because it was boyish.
But looking back, I was tomboyish in a girly way. They say that boys play more competitive, rule-oriented sports like baseball or soccer, and when there's an argument about a rule, they'll stand around and kick dirt and argue until they agree on it. On the other hand, if a disagreement comes up between girls at play, they'll go "let's play a different game" "okay", to make sure everybody's happy. I liked to play competitive sports (even though I hated field day); I was the goalie or defense in soccer all the way from elementary school through jr. high. However, if I tried to organize a game among my friends (as opposed to joining a game someone else had started), if there was an argument I'd tend to do the girl thing -- "let's play a different game", and we'd move on to whiffle ball or something.

Another thing that a lot of adolescents experience is the "Imaginary Audience", the classic case being the kid all ready to go out to x event (like the kid on The Wonder Years going to the prom) and at the last minute -- dun dun dunnnn...."oh no! I can't go! I have a huge zit! Everybody will see it and laugh at me!"
I used to be really plagued by this ... I think I still am to some extent. I remember in ... I think it was grammar class in jr high, we were talking about something, and then I started talking about how sometimes I feel like everybody's watching me at EVERY moment and there are thousands of eyes watching my every stupid move, and everybody knows how stupid I am and I can't GET AWAY ... and by the time I was done, the whole class was staring at me, and Mrs. Bradley said "goodness, Lauren, you're really paranoid. You need to calm down." [L]
When I started to drive -- and I was terrified of driving for the longest time -- I was always feel so dumb, like I was always doing the wrong thing. Part of this was because I had very, very, very little instruction. Another part was because I was new at driving and didn't know the quickest routes between point A and point B, so it used to take me 10 times longer than anyone else to get anywhere. I would get home and mom would say "Lauren, where have you BEEN? You left [starting point] an hour ago!" and I would say "I just came right home! I took [name of road]!" "But Lauren, that's 30 minutes out of your way!"
DUMB Lauren, BAD Lauren, STUPID Lauren! I said to myself. Everyone knows you don't DO that!
So I got in the habit of second-guessing my every decision. The good news is that I can get from point A to point B 10 minutes quicker than everyone else, and that I know my way around VA pretty well (except in Northern VA, where rules don't apply). When I became more experienced, I got over this, as I could speed. ;) Also, I could blame Mapquest or traffic if I were ever late.

As I read about the adolescent view on other things -- love and idealization, rebellion and care, depression and suicide, invincibility -- I look at myself and think, "... gee, I still kind of think that way. Do I think like an adolescent? What separates adolescent thought from adult thought?" Part of it is impulse-control, and part of it is mind-over-matter, I'm guessing. I don't actually know, and this disturbs me a little bit. Maybe I'm not quite as mature as I thought. But on the other hand, I think we're all affected by the same things -- as adolescents, we have many adult emotions (love and sadness/grief/depression, most strongly). I believe it's just the way we deal with them. I'm finding it more and more easy to allow myself to be swept away in these kids of emotions. It's the "why not?" that presents itself to the mind so very strongly. But the emotions, the heart, must alwaysalwaysalways be tempered with reason, and I think this is what adolescents have not yet come to realize; it may look easier on adults because they are more used to doing it, have the force of habit on their side. Someone dies, or your significant other dumps you (and by saying "significant other", I mean romantic-interest-of-the-opposite-sex; I said that once and mom said it sounded like I was talking about a homosexual partner): the initial reaction is, I find, "AUUUUGH! My life is over! I can't deal with this". However it's perfectly true that you CAN and you DO and you MUST. People deal with worse every day. Of course that does not make the throbbing agony go away, by no means. And it's dealing with that day in and day out that's so darn difficult. But it is a mark of character and a strengthener of character if you can do it. You're dumped in jr highschool, it's the end of the world and you'll never love again. You're dumped again in highschool, how horrible it all is. Dumped again, "x is an idiot", or some other jaded response -- or at least that's my reaction. I have an unfortunate habit of getting angry or becoming jaded or cynical towards people or things if I need or want to get over them and move on. But the more adult and mature response is, "this is sad and unfortunate, but it's not the end of the world. This is the way life is. Things are bad now, but they'll get better."

But how does a parent dealing with the death of a child fully implement what is being said in their head ("it's not the end of the world") to what they're feeling ("my child, the flesh of my flesh, is gone")?

I don't have any more thoughts for right now.
posted by Lauren, 2:29 PM | link | 0 comments

Hello everybody ...

I'm back from my awesome weekend back home! Only 17 more days until I go back again. [G] Yes, I realize I'm pathetic. Uuuunnnhhhh.... a word to the wise: if you grew up not moving around a lot, or if you have a high concentration of your family in one area (like, all of them) do not move more than a 6- or 7-hour drive away from home. 5 is much more preferable. 2 is great. .5 might be too close for comfort. But anyway. I'm a 25 hour drive from home, which means a plane ticket each time, which means a big to-do. And it's awful!!! Don't do it. I thought I wanted to get away from everything that was familiar ... yeah right. Being completely in the midst of nothingness is not cool.

Oh, not only is my family spread out around a 30-minute radius in one area, but three of my best friends are in VA, too. Can we say TX = dumb idea for Lauren?

Well you live and learn; then you die and forget it all.

Also, I have another stupid midterm this week -- politics, in which I'm very behind. But for good news, our ROTC FTX is this weekend!!! I am very much looking forward to that. :D Just so long as I'm not achy and crampy in the field or something :P or at least have other girls around to sympathize. Ah well, I'll live! Also, I get vegetarian MREs. Hehehehe.

More good news, but I continue to request prayers, and LOTS of them, like TONS of them, like a whole armored-division of St. Jude and St. Rita novenas -- I got accepted to Catholic University. Yaaay! However. The problem with this is that they are only offering me $6,000 in scholarships, in addition to my $2,000 FAFSA or something. The tuition there is $22,200 with room and board manditory for freshman AND sophomores; room and board is $10,000. Owch.

I'm mentally frazzled and it's only Tuesday.

God willing, I will be out of Texas in May and not ever have to come back! Yaaay!
posted by Lauren, 9:45 AM | link

{Wednesday, March 24, 2004  }

Good quote from Andrew F's away message:

"Sometimes the Lord calms the storm, and sometimes He calms His child in the midst of the storm."
posted by Lauren, 11:54 PM | link | 0 comments

I have been following the grudge matches on Fr. Bryce Sibley's blog (and I will never ever ever ever ever write a song about Sibley..).


Checkitout -- the second one is St. Jerome vrs St. Augustine. These are some of the best quotes:

"Gotta go with my confirmation namesake, Sanctus Hieronymus. As everyone above says, Augustine's got the philosophical and theological punching strength, and the indominable will, but he was soft in his youth. Meanwhile, J-Dog is out eating scraps in a cave. You can't knock him out. He's too tough. Too wiry. He can whip out the ten-pound dictionaries and get all aorist on your ass.

And of course, the critical factor....

HOMEY HAS A * LION *." ~Bill Walsh

"Yeah, I think the whole lion thing really tips it in favor of St. Jerome. He was one bad mutha.

(Okay, pretend I didn't say that).

Who's the trilingual cardinal monk
That's a translating machine with lots of funk?
(Amen, amen, dico vobis)

Who's the anchorite would beat his breast
To expiate for his brother man?
(Canst thou dig it?)

Who's got a desert cat that won't cop out
Where there's heretics all about!
(Dignum et iustum!)

They say this monk Jerome loves God's mother...
(O Lord, open Thou our lips!)
Dico circumdeverunt Hieronyme.
Then canst we dig it!

He's a complicated soul,
But nobody understands him but Mother Church

"Augustine was a mama's boy.

Jerome in a landslide!" ~KDSJ

"St. Jerome by a landslide, if only for the above qutoe "and get all aorist on your ass."" ~JohnH

Best ones from St. John Chrysostom vrs St. Athanasius:

"St. John Chrysostom action figure, with removal golden tongue that can be turned into a weapon- that possibility alone makes him win hands down (and tongue out)." ~Patrick Q

"St. Athanasius - this is my favorite story about him when he was being tried for sorcery and murder and for cutting off Arsernius's right hand to use in magical rites.

"Early in the proceeding, with a truly breath-taking disregard for recently established and documented truth, the "hand of Arsernius" was brought out for the horrified perusal of the council, along with the original tale of murder and sorcery involving him and Athanasius. But Athanasius was as resourceful as his opponents. Arsenius, never quite good enough at hiding himself, was ferreted out again at Tyre. Athanasius brought him to the council, wrapped in a cloak. He asked if those present knew Arsenius. When several answered that they did. Athanasius uncovered Arsenius's face. "Is this
the right Arsenius? Is this the man I murdered? Is this the man those people mutilated after his murder by cutting off his right hand? Then he pulled off the cloak, revealing both of Arsenius's hands perfectly normal. Let no one seek for a third hand," Athanasius concluded, with crushing irony "for man has received two hands from the Creator and no more"

From The History of Christendom Vol II by Warren H. Carroll." ~Jeff Miller

"I was gonna go with golden tongue until I read the anecdote above. Now that's tough.
St. Athanasius get my vote." ~Denise

uture matches?

the battling Theresas: Avila v. Liseux

Catherines a go go: Alexandria v. Sienna

Apparitionees on the mat: Bernadette Soubirous up against Fatima's Lucia Santos

Heart-felt heretics: Pelagius v. Jansenius

Deep-thinkers delight: Aquinas v. Bonaventure" ~Left Coastie

"I vote for St. John Chrysostom, whose last name I can neither spell (thank goodness for "copy and paste") nor easily pronounce. At least I can refer to him at "St. Johnny C." I can't spell or easily pronounce St. Athanasius either, nor can I come up with a catchy nickname for him." ~Chris

"How about getting ecumenical and having a heavyweight theological championship between St. Thomas Aquinas and Luther. They were both heavy dudes. It'd be no match of course, Aquinas would just sort of roll over Luther, but it'd be fun to watch.

Personally I'd like to see Don Bosco in the ring myself. He invented the karate chop. Sort of. " ~Matthew

"I'm going with St. Athanasius, because he was a favorite of one of my favorite people, Venerable John Henry Newman, C.O. (When one of the Venerable's nephews was born on a May 2nd, the saint's feast, he hoped his sister and her husband would name him Athanasius Mozley. They named him Herbert. At least Athanasius would have been interesting...)" ~Donna Marie L

[L] I can just picture that ... St. Thomas just rolling over Luther...
posted by Lauren, 11:47 PM | link | 0 comments

*worshipful gaze towards UTA* I love my Platoon SGT! Actually, since chain of command got shifted around, I'm not sure she's my PSG anymore... but I love CDT SGT Lewis to death. She's so awesome. And she may -- probably not, but may -- come and help me train for Ranger Challenge! I don't know if I have time to train for Ranger Challenge... maybe if she were to help me. It would be terribly, terribly good for me, and would look really good on West Point apps.
But she called me and addressed me by my last name. So many ROTC cadets are laid-back, and they're like "just clal me Joe"; but calling one by one's last name has a ring of professionalism to it, and since we're not overly professional in ROTC (it is, after all, a training environment, and things are not always perfect nor perfectly like the real Army), I cling to anything I can get. I have a date for the military ball at the end of April (with Jon's permission), and I still just call him Barnett. So much easier. Names are sewn onto uniforms. If you forget their name -- read it off their uniform! Ha.
But I got my OPORD. We'll be outside, so I'm not going to worry about polishing my boots tonight -- focus on school.

So I'ma do that. Bye!
posted by Lauren, 10:39 PM | link | 0 comments

I just realized in a freezing moment of panic that I have no OPORD for ROTC tomorrow, and I can't seem to be able to get in touch with either my SQL or my PSG. ACK!
posted by Lauren, 10:21 PM | link | 0 comments

More annoying quizzes...

May barbarians invade your personal space!
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
"May barbarians invade your personal
You are highly confrontational and possibly in a
bad mood. You would have sworn in this quiz,
if I had made it an option.

Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Bwahahahahaha! My favorite one is "Funiculum pani nolo" -- I don't want a toaster, literally "I don't want a burner of bread" *is reminded of inserting toast 1.5 times into a toaster in order to get "toast"*.

This makes NO sense ... but i totally used to watch this show:

You are WILD AND CRAZY KIDS. You couldn't get
through life without a little fun... or a neon
colored t-shirt. You are a team player and
really into Omar Gooding. GO YOU!

Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Aubrey mentioned something in her journal yesterday ... any class of '07 remember "Salute Your Shorts"? Dang that stuff was a long time ago ... the dumb shows we used to watched... I used to love "Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles".

posted by Lauren, 10:09 PM | link | 0 comments

{Tuesday, March 23, 2004  }

92% Of The Internet Loves Me!
I am loved by 92% of the population, including:
10606 people who love people who wear sweaters
9447 people who love old people
13162 people who love people who like cake
In return, I love 97% of the population, including:
1921 vampires
2020 conservatives
4554 punks
show the love at spacefem.com

I must confess, I did say I did not love pagans, politicians, liberals, Star Trek fans, quiz makersand West coast people...

you are paleturquoise

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.

Your saturation level is low - You stay out of stressful situations and advise others to do the same. You may not be the go-to person when something really needs done, but you know never to blow things out of proportion.

Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
the spacefem.com html color quiz

Hey!!! I get things done, if you need something done, come to me!! grrr

watch out or I will terrorize you

I'm getting there. I don't suck, but I've got a ways to go.

(Good golly, THAT'S the quote they put in my mouth??)

I'm sure Jon will be happy to know that I tolerate him ...


*plots* ...

Now i have taken every quiz on that site. Woot.
posted by Lauren, 10:59 PM | link | 0 comments

Among what would otherwise be a run-of-the-mill not-overly-impressive 16th/17th century depiction of the agony in the garden, I have found the most terrifying image:

At first glance, I found the proximity of the snoring Peter to Jesus rather amusing. Then there was a cherubic figure sort of there and sort of not, but then I noticed... from the mount of olives, He can clearly see his opressors coming to seize him. They almost seem nearer to him than the angel is. Seeing the torture coming slowly only increases the agony... that, I believe, is a reason to sweat blood.
posted by Lauren, 5:09 PM | link | 0 comments

(I am easily distracted from study today..)

It's really cool when you can randomly look at a picture and go "hey, I know where that is!" When mom and dad came up to the Lairds one time, dad asked about a picture they had on their wall, which, I think, was Salzburg. Dad said, "I stood at that corner." We have a painting of Maine somewhere, and I can remember the cape which the painting depicts. Just now, I found this picture:

It's St. Agatha's church is Travestere, Rome.

Wait a minute, I've been there and seen that church! Why didn't I go in??? I must not have known it was St. Agatha's (I was born on the feast day of St. Agatha). There are so many churches in Rome...! They're all beautiful. :) One of my favorites was Santa Maria Sopra Minerva ... very Dominican.

Alas! If only I could have gone into the convent of San Marco when we were in Florence to see the paintings of Fra Angelico! However the monastery was randomly closed. Sigh! Another time, perhaps, if/when I do my Rome semester here.
posted by Lauren, 3:51 PM | link

Because I'm in this kind of mood...

Shoutout to anyone at Steubenville for the "Going Home To My Father's House" retreat waaaayyyyyy back when -- like, 98 or something!
Also shoutout to anyone who was in "Hot"-lanta for the "Out of the Jungle" Steubenville retreat the year before. Hooah! Wow, that was a long time ago... those were fun!

I thought I'd like being an orphan
I thought that I might make it on my own
Until I found myself one morning
Peniless, with no place to call home
But then a train pulled in the station
Conductor cried out to the crowd (sha la la la la)
The love of God's our destination
Tickets have been paid for
And everyone's allowed so why don't you

Pack your bags and get on board
We are headed to the Lord
Unto our father's house
Food to eat and brand new clothes to wear!
Grass so green and sky so blue
There's room enough for me an you
There at my father's house
So let's be going home!

Unless you think of me mistaken
Let me tell you bout something my dad said
He's the Creator of creation
And he loves every hair upon your head
So if you're willing or you're able
What I am telling you is true (sha la la la la)
Come on, dinner's on the table
Well he's prepared a place for me
And he's prepared a place for you so why don't you

Pack your bags and get on board
We are headed to the Lord
Unto our father's house
Food to eat and brand new clothes to wear!
Grass so green and sky so blue
There's room enough for me an you
There at my father's house so let's be going home

So many times I wandered far from his embrace
He never loved me less
He'd always call out to me
And now I'm heading home
I long to see his face
Let him hold me for a while
I want to be your child,
My God, I'm coming home!

Well, do you wanna go home? Yeah, yeah

Then why don't you
Pack your bags and get on board
We are headed to the Lord
Unto our father's house
Food to eat and brand new clothes to wear!
Grass so green and sky so blue
There's room enough for me and you
There at my father's house
So let's be going home!

Why don't you
Drop your bags and get on board
We are headed to the Lord
Unto our father's house
Food to eat and brand new clothes to wear!
Grass so green and sky so blue
There's room enough for me and you
There at my father's house
Let's be going home
You know there's room there at my father's house
Let's be going home!

Dang, I didn't remember how cheesy some of these lyrics were... oh well, we were all on a spiritual high, nobody noticed or cared. C'mon, bring out that cellphone, HEY HOLY SPIRIT, WHAT'S UP ????

posted by Lauren, 3:23 PM | link | 1 comments

Ten Ways College is Like Preschool:

1. You cry for your mother.
2. You cross the street without looking for cars.
3. Snack time is a necessity.
4. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look like (because everyone else looks just as stupid as you do).
5. You stay at home and play games with your friends.
6. You wear your backpack on both shoulders.
7. You wear big mittens.
8. Playing in the snow is a legitimate activity.
9. You take naps.
10. You look forward to grilled cheese sandwhiches.

I've been terribly, terribly homesick lately. Fortunately, mom had mercy on me and is flying me home this weekend! Yaaaay!

I feel like such a little girl... I whine about wanting to go home, I sleep with stuffed animals at night, and .. I fulfill most of the above 10 thingies. What's a little girl like me doing out in this great big world? Heck, I even still look like a little girl. I remember when I was in highschool, all the college kids were so old and mature to me. Then, before I went off to college, I met a girl who was not even in highschool, but junior highschool. I kind of vaguely knew her when I was going to school at Guardian Angel Academy. She asked me what grade I was going into, and I told her I was in college. "No way!" she said, "you totally don't look old enough to be in college!"

Gee, thanks. :P

I'm growing my hair out, so I can eventually French braid it or put it in a bun or something so that I can sleep in it and wake up the next morning and wear a patrol cap and be fine instead of messing with it to get it to curl. Also, it feels SO much better when it's off my neck. Besides, can you picture a girl cadet surrounded by a bunch of camoed-up guys fixing her curly hair in the morning? Forget it ...
But right now my hair is in one of those blah in-between stages, and it's still a little curly, so it even more makes me look like a little girl. And when I wear my pink care bear shirt ... geeze..

I want to be a responsible young woman, I want to be respected. I want to be a platoon leader in the Army!!!

I want to be 21.

I want to go home. I miss my mommy.
posted by Lauren, 1:41 PM | link | 0 comments

{Monday, March 22, 2004  }

My life is futile... I just wrote a long post about yesterday, tried to post it, and blogger lost it. How many times have I told myself I am no longer going to compose posts in the blogger window?
posted by Lauren, 9:54 AM | link | 0 comments

{Sunday, March 21, 2004  }

When Jon was a senior in highschool and I a sophomore, he made me a CD of music that I never really paid a whole lot of attention to at first. Then I SEIZED on to it, especially during my junior/senior year. Now, it has become my comfort music, and I have had "Belong" in my head. It seems pertinent to my last post, so I shall put the lyrics here, after I give a list of what's on the CD:

1. Shifting Sand by Caedmon's Call
2. Belong by Chris Rice
3. For The Beauty Of The Earth by Chris Rice
4. Home Tonight by Chris Rice
5. Questions for Heaven by Chris Rice (<-- this is a fun song)
6. Fearless by DC Talk
7. Since I Met You by DC Talk
8. Oh My Brother by Eddie Fro Ohio (<-- I rather consider this my theme song; Eddie from Ohio is EXCELLENT)
9. Loitering in the Lobby by Eddie from Ohio
10. Twenty Thousand Hearts by Eddie from Ohio
11. Old Dominion by Eddie from Ohio (<-- with some modifications, I say this should become Virginia's state song)
12. Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd
13. Stupid American by Eddie from Ohio (<-- We like Eddie, in case you couldn't tell...)
14. Classical Gas by Mason Williams (<-- this song reminds me at once of Frasier and of my Dad)
15. One Of These Days by Smalltown Poets
16. Alarm Clock by the W's (<-- funny group; a Christian swing band)
17. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen (<--- that's Jon for you)
18. Diner's Club by Chris Cockerell and performed by the Youth Symphony Orchestra (or something), in which Jon was involved at the time.

by Chris Rice

Fading memories ignored
I crawl across the forest floor
Pool reflects an orphan child
Dirty, lost, alone and wild
Fatherless and nameless still
Fallen heart and broken, will
there ever be a place where I belong

I cower ‘neath the monster trees
And try to stand on tired feet
But gravity knocks me to the ground
Where I give up, and tears roll down
I claw the dust and beg the end
Curse the day that I began
to hope there’d be a place where I belong

I hear a sound I recognize
You lift my chin and seek my eyes
Song of love You sing to me
I ache to sing it back to Thee
"Father Love prepares a place
Brother Jesus leads the way
Follow to the place where you belong!"

How did I miss this wondrous song?
The forest sang it all along
"River rinses all your shame
Father offers you His name
Father Love prepares a home
Brother Jesus leads you on
Follow to the place where you belong!"

"Father Love prepares a place
Brother Jesus leads the way
Follow to the place where you belong
Follow to the place where you belong!"
posted by Lauren, 12:33 AM | link | 0 comments

{Friday, March 19, 2004  }

Don't look now, but here comes another movie review from Cnytrlass.

Being a subscriber to Netflix, I watch an average of ... 8-10 movies a month or so -- usually on Friday and/or Saturday nights, and Wednesday nights as I polish my boots for ROTC. I rent some mind-numbing things sheerly for background noise for when I polish my boots, but most of the time I am genuinely interested in what I rent (duh). One movie I've always seen in the basement of our house that I've never gotten around to watching until has been The Man Without A Face. Since seeing The Passion of Christ, I've decided I'm going to rent every doggone Mel Gibson movie ever made, because I have a lot of respect for that man now. And lo and behold, he is coming close to knocking off my previous acting idol of Anthony Hopkins. But that's beside the point.

The Man Without A Face is partially a lesson in family dynamics. If you don't think divorce hurts children, WATCH THIS MOVIE. It deals with a lot of family issues -- the family is really, really messed-up -- and personally, had I known what the movie was like before, I might not have rented it. That's not to say there is anything bad or bad content in it, but the issues are difficult, and often difficult to watch.

The other part of this movie is about my favorite subject, love. Like Les Miserables, a young child teaches a man hardened to the world how to love. Unlike Les Miserables, the man teaches the child how to love just as much, and helps him to heal.

It is not a monumentally wonderful movie. The acting is a bit stiff at times, and a few pieces of it are pretty contrived. But it is a very good movie.

Basically Charles hates his life (and who could blame him? His older half-sister is the cruellest human being since Nero, and his mother -- who bore each of her three children to different husbands, and never wanted "this mothering thing" -- is dating future husband number five). More than anything he wants to get away, which means testing into a prestigeous military prep school. However, he cannot achieve a passing grade on his own. When Charles is marooned on his property, he meets Justin MacLeod, a former teacher at the same (or similar) school he wants so very much to enter. Having been disfigured horribly, MacLeod has become a recluse, and despises the rest of the world, until, through the tutor-pupil relationship, they build up a friendship much stronger than either though possible. However, the way is fraught with difficulties, which are really difficult and complicated, far too much to explain here.

Warning about the content cosists only in what I suppose is known as "thematic issues" (minus one scene with his older sister and a guy in the bedroom, but nothing is seen or heard and it lasts two seconds), and one f-word (a few other minor expletives). It is really painful to watch because of the way the family is torn apart -- there are several scenes where the entire family argues ferociously, and everyone storms off and slams doors. Yeah, that doesn't sound like much, but when we're talking about ditzy mom with meathead #5, a 10 year old girl, a very disturbed 12 year old boy, and a very disturbed, very malicious and wayward 17-year-old girl ... who has it in for her little brother ... it's very sad, and it's horrible the way everybody treats MacLeod in the beginning. Everybody. Charles included, and not in a just "oh he looks weird, dur hur hur" way.

Why am I promoting this movie on my blog? Good question. It's sad, it's not brilliant, it's not particularly profound, it's hard to watch. There's something important about this movie.

I suppose it is about hope... Charles comes from a totally hopeless background devoid of love. He has very little hope, at first, of getting into his military academy. Likewise, MacLeod has very little hope -- his background was tragic, and he has little hope of human contact let alone love. Yet these two find both hope and love in each other.

That sounds so cheesy.

I really have no idea what I'm talking about.

The bottom line is -- it's a good movie. I don't know exactly why it's as good as I seem to think it is, but it is. Don't watch it with children of any age. Don't watch it if you have family issues yourself.

Yeah. So much for my intellectual review. ;)
posted by Lauren, 10:47 PM | link | 0 comments

{Thursday, March 18, 2004  }

Whew! Well, I took my Greek exam, and I think I did fairly well. I'm at least pretty sure I passed. I appreciate all your prayers, but keep on praying! Retroactive prayers work, too.

Well! A happy St. Patrick's day to one and all! It may have evolved into a cultural event, but nonetheless it is still one of the few widely-recognized Catholic holidays, along with St. Valentine's day. Unfortunately, St. Valentine's day has become a much more "trite" affair, quickly gaining a reputation as a Hallmark holiday or acquiring synonymns such as "Singles Awareness Day". But hey -- I say take what you can get. If you can get a foot in the door somehow, later there is room for ... dun dun dunnnn.... evangelization!

Enough about you, let's talk about ME!

Spring break was a lot of fun! I loved being home. When I was home, I forgot all about this little university, ahhhh... it was like senior year all over again, but not quite as fun because I didn't have mIRC and Abe and SarahMc to pal around with, and I never did see Alipie, alas. I don't think I'll be going home again until the end of the school year, as I've committed to singing Holy Week music with Collegium.

Ahhh, our Holy Week music is soo beautiful! It's all from responses from the Latin breviary, which we translated in Latin class. Having seen "The Passion" over break, I can't sing some of those songs without getting goosebumps or tears in my eyes ... especially "Judas, mercator pessimus":

Judas, mercator pessimus osculo petiit Dominum
ille ut agnus innocens non negavit Judae osculum
Denariorum numero Christum Judaeis tradidit.
Melius illi erat, si natus non fuisset.
Denariorum numero Christum Judaeis tradidit.

"Judas, most vile merchant betrayed the Lord with a kiss
and he was as a lamb, innocent, and did not deny the kiss of Judas.
He betrayed Christ to the Jews for a number of Denarii,
It would be better for that man had he never been born."

When I went and saw "The Passion" for the second time over break, alone, I started to weep from the agony in the garden, and did not cease until I had left the theatre. Especially in the beginning, some of Jesus' facial expressions were so heartbreaking ... and the way he addressed Judas "you betray the Son of man with a kiss?" and ... oh! ... most heartbreaking to me was the way he called out so brokenly "Kephas!" when Peter had fallen asleep with James and John. I chose Maria Cecilia Petra as my confirmation name for Mary the mother of God, St. Maria Goretti, St. Cecilia, and St. Peter. I've always loved St. Peter, he's portrayed so humanly in the gospel as to be quite funny at times, but yet he also has his weaknesses, such as his denial of Christ, etc. I identify so strongly with Peter -- and I realize this is what the movie was supposed to do, but I've always been like this, it was just a thousand times more heart-wrenching to see it -- that Peter's every reaction was mine. A very odd reaction I found that I had was ... an extremely, extrenely strong identification with the blessed Mother. Every time something particularly horrible happened, I wanted to cry out for my child ... but he's not my child, I'm his! I don't understand this reaction.

The first time I went to see the movie, I went with my friend Eleanor, her mom, and her younger brothers Jon Paul (10) and Jefferey (12?). They had all seen it before, and they were excited to see me and I them after so long a time, and they were telling me about it and saying "oh it's really hard to watch here" and "you might have to look away here" before the beginning of the movie. At those parts and a few others, they would look over at me to see if I was weeping or not. I sorely wanted to, and I could not help myself when he meets his mother, but I felt like I had to keep as straight a face as I could and hide my tears from the younger ones. I went a second time and I sat very close, and there was nobody around me either in front, to either side, or a row or two back. I curled up in a fetal position and wept freely as a child... some of the tortures were too much to bear watching. I saw them the first time, but I could not endure them a second time. What kept going through my head was "why? why for us? are we so much to you? someone stop this!"

It is really an awesome and beautiful meditation for Lent, and I highly encourage us to go.

A quick word about his portrayal of Pilate: that was actually based off of the Coptic tradition of the Church. They believe that Pilate eventually converted partially through the influence of his wife Claudia, and that he was later made a martyr for Christ. I think that is absolutely awesome, and I hope that's the way it really happened, especially from Gibson's portrayal of Pilate and Claudia through the movie. Much more sympathetic than I ever would have thought.

The first time I watched the movie, I giggled at the Latin. "Finally! A foreign language I fully understand when I hear it spoken." Similar to my reaction of going to a Latin Mass for the first time: "*giggle* He has a funny hat."

We all have to start somewhere.
posted by Lauren, 12:51 AM | link | 0 comments

{Monday, March 15, 2004  }

So, my the official comment on my blog from Catholic Ragemonkey is as follows, and I quote: "Iiiinteresting..." Wait, that's MY quote. That's a link back to this site. Oh.

Also, from blogs4god (not just a Catholic resource), I'm "Army chick, student, likes mud."

I do not like mud ... sniff

*Waves* Hi, mom! I'm on the internet!
posted by Lauren, 11:36 AM | link | 0 comments

Well, I'm back.

Over the break, I sent off a tranfer application to UVA and Catholic U, I visited Catholic U and the Lairds, I filled out and sent an application to the Summer Language Institute (for German), I filled out an application to Piedmont Community College in hopes of taking some math and science there as well over the summer, I saw the Passion twice (obligatory review on it to come eventually), I slept in a lot, I drove around a lot, I didn't talk to ANYBODY from school (with the exception of Morales and Barnett) or do any work until at least Saturday, I visited both my sisters, kissed my niece and nephews, saw Jon for a few hours, and I shot five pistols and a rifle, and did pretty dang well at that, too, said my dad.

Oh, and I also got pulled over for the first time. 500 feet from my house.

But I didn't get a ticket, because I'm cute. ;)

More to come later.
posted by Lauren, 9:46 AM | link | 0 comments

{Tuesday, March 02, 2004  }

*sniffle* But I like "Wacky Quacky Duck"...

Ok, so ... also ... I can't think of a preface for this:

Slytherin! You're classy to the core, favoring the
traditionally finest things the world has to
offer. While you may or may not be evil *wink*
you certainly have the power and attitude to
get what you want. You're clever as all heck,
and tend to be a couple steps ahead of even the
most astute Ravenclaw.

A More Unique Hogwarts Sorting Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

...but I can think of a sufface. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I think I'd move in with Hagrid or Sirius Black. Well, er, I mean, before he DIED. Oooh. Maybe I can move in with him and be dead, too. Cool. Well, we're not sure that he died... there's still some talk of him coming back and whatnot.
I saw the trailer for the next Harry Potter movie last night, and I'm really looking forward to it. It was one of my favorite books (Prisoner of Azkaban), and the movie looks like it will actually be GOOD. As Daniel Radcliffe gets older, he looks more like Harry. Also, he's a doll. *pinches Daniel Radcliffe's cheek*
Yes, the best HP books are the 1st and the 3rd with the 4th in tow, then the 5th and lastly the 2nd. I don't like the 2nd at all. It might have something to do with giant spiders... and the movie was SO NOT COOL with that. When you THINK the spiders are gone, and begin to uncurl yourself from the fetal position and slowly remove your fingers from your eyes, they come BACK again, and with a vengeance! I had such a hard time with Return of the King and Shelob. I went and saw it with Jon. I knew what was coming since I had read the books, and although I'm inclined, every time I read it, to skip that part, I don't because Sam's actions there are the most brave, heroic, touching, and sacrificial of the whole epic. I figured I was going to try to peek and stand it a little bit ... but no way. I couldn't do it. When Shelob got Frodo, little kids in the back screamed, and I'm sure I would have passed out. I tried to watch a little bit of it afterwards... like, I think, when Sam was fighting Shelob, but I don't remember if I did or not. If I did, I'm assuming it was far too traumatic for me and I blocked it from memory.

Speaking of which, we learned a lot about memory today in psych class, and we saw a very sad but very touching instance of a famous British conductor -- Clive something -- who had a certain kind of viral infection that destroyed his hippocampus over the course of five days. Thus, he was like a cross between the main character of Momento and The Pianist, at least I think it was that one ... well, this guy only could hold things in his memory for about two minutes. Every time he would be aware of "waking up" again, he would write in a little journal "11:42 am: I am awake for the FIRST TIME today." Unlike the guy from Momento, he would not trust that he had written things previously in his journal, he would say he must have done it unconsciously, and if a person would press the point and say "are you sure?", he would at once get VERY angry indeed.
Not only did he have the tendency of getting very angry, but very emotional in general. He would always greet his wife like she had been gone for two years, and he would always write in his journal "I love Debora forever and ever!" and things like that. It was certainly one of the main things imprinted onto his long-term memory, and is something that helps him to survive to this day (if he's still around, the video was kind of old).
One remarkable thing about him was his relationship with music. Music, singing, conducting, playing, was so ingrained upon him that he could conduct and sing long and complicated pieces, and he could even sightread very difficult pieces on piano flawlessly. It showed him singing and conducting "Ave Verum Corpus" by Mozart, and he seemed normal as could be, and the music was not the slightest bit out of order or rushed or anything. It was beautiful. But when he would stop, he would go into minor convusions, and be his old self again, forgetting things as soon as he looked away from them. It was remarkable, and very sad.

Ah, here's a reference to him. Wearing is his last name, Clive Wearing.

Also in discussing brain damage and memories, Dr. N also showed us a video of a beautiful white little bunny rabbit that this guy was using for experiments. He would place the rabit in a device that would hold it still, and would monitor brain waves and reaction times, etc. The computer would play a tone, and a second or two later, a puff of air would be directed into its eye, and of course it would blink. Eventually the rabbit learned that when it heard the tone, it should blink. However, by the minutest of leisions to a specific area of its brain, the rabbit list this memory, and would never be able to pair that particular stimulus with that response again.

I'm no PETA-supporter, but I thought that was sad... I have a soft spot for small, fuzzy, quiet animals. Case in point: I adore my birdie. Of course, she's definitely not always quiet, but she's a tiny, fragile, delicate little thing and she's fuzzy and cuddly and love-y. I've also been thinking that when I get my own place way eventually, I want a rabbit. And maybe a cat, but that might present some problems. But yeah. Poor bunny. :(

And with that, I'm going to be signing off for the next week and a half. This week is midterms and next week is spring break. I will be back here on the 14th and may start blogging again on the 15th, but in the meantime I'm taking a break.

God bless ~~
posted by Lauren, 2:59 PM | link | 0 comments

{Monday, March 01, 2004  }

Mary's Fiat

Curtesy of the Curt Jester
posted by Lauren, 12:52 PM | link | 0 comments

Iiiinteresting. Catholic Ragemonkey (awesome site run by priests. [G] Cracks me up sometimes) has a thing going, name that heresy and name that Protestant reformer/founder of religious community. From this week:

"Okay, folks Name that Heresy! Description A. is a Protestant Reformer or founder of an ecclesial community. Description B. is a known condemned heresy.

A. A man walks into the bar and sits down. The waiter comes over to take his order. "I'll have steak fingers," the man says. The waiter replies, "We don't serve steak fingers here, consult the menu.' The man replies, "I have been given a better menu which explains everything about your menu." "Let me see it," the waiter responds. "uh, I can't...it is hidden." To break the situation, the "Okay would like a cup of coffee." The man says, "Decaf only. God says the other stuff is evil."

B. A man walks into the bar and orders a beer. He looks closely at the bartender. The bartender is dirty, his fingernails need to be clipped, and he can't quite get the beer in the glass. When the bartender sets the glass before the man, the man looks at him and says, "It is obvious to me that because of your terrible bartending skills that this is not really beer you set before me."

Have fun...Answers appearing next week and a reminder whenever this archives."

A has got to be Joseph Smith ("Um... it's hidden")
B is most definitely the Donatist heresy, something Augustine addressed making a comment saying that water is conducted through a pipe despite whether it is made of lead or of gold.

At least I think that's what he said. I've always rather liked that quote.
posted by Lauren, 12:49 PM | link | 0 comments

Wow, I've been to 7% of Europe. [G] I want to go to Austria and Switzerland.

create your personalized map of europe
or write about it on the open travel guide

Also, I've been to 50% of the US. I rule.

Of course, most of those North-Eastern states were driving up to Maine ... hey, it counts. Shutup.

create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide
posted by Lauren, 12:43 PM | link | 0 comments

Dude. I can really identify with this guy, especially the reading and the Neuschwanstein.

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

You are Ludwig II, the Swan King of Bavaria!

Born with the name of Otto, you became Ludwig at the request of your grandfather, King Ludwig I, because you were born on his birthday. You became Crown Prince at the tender age of 3, and soon after stole a purse from a shop on the basis that everything in Bavaria belonged to you. Tragedy struck when your pet tortoise was taken away; relatives thought the six-year-old prince was too attached to it. Your childhood was lonely and formal. Once, you were prevented from beheading your younger brother by the timeous arrival of a court official. From the age of 14 you suffered from hallucinations.

Despite striking an imposing figure with your great height and good looks, your speeches were pompous to the point of incomprehensibility. You became even more of a recluse, often spending hours reading poetry in a seashell-shaped boat in your electrically-illuminated underground grotto.

You are most famous for building three fairytale castles - Linderhof, Neuschwanstein and Herrenchiemsee - at tremendous public expense. Declared insane and confined to your bedroom by concerned (and embarrassed) subjects, you escaped on 13 June 1886, but were later found drowned with your physician in Lake Stamberg in mysterious circumstances.
posted by Lauren, 12:27 PM | link | 0 comments