{    Cnytr   }

{Thursday, April 29, 2004  }

PLEASE pray for my PT test in ROTC today!!!
posted by Lauren, 10:54 AM | link

{Tuesday, April 27, 2004  }

Now some things not by me, some good poems. Well, one's good. This is the dumbest poem I've ever read:

Bovine Eulogies

Cows are awesome!
Cows are neat!
Cows are great!
They can't be beat!

Cows make milk!
This we drink!
Cows are fun!
They're the missing link!

Support the cows!
Help them survive!
Drink their milk!
And you will thrive!

Horses are bad!
They smell, they reek!
Their disgusting droppings
You would not want to seek!

But cows, aha!
In a briliant devise,
They lay their droppings
In neat little pies!


This is a cool poem:

This soul goes nowhere.
Not this time.
Another marched on.
A later version had a dream
That worked-
Or, some would say,
Is working now.
William's boy fought the same fight,
But somehow
Lost it in the middle
And came up white.
What is white?
She was fighting his fight, too.
She, whose lips to him were red
As the wine at Cana.
She, whose purity matched that
Of Agnes (in spite of him), yet-
She lost.
For 'ts Summer in the South
And winter in the North.
They are still, those two.
For even the bearded Kentuckian
Could not score this time.
This one dreaded the final decision,
Hoping that he could get off-
Scot free-
Even though
It was his decision-should we really blame him?
No one knows.
But the fact remains
He killed his only ally, yet
Her cloak somehow remains
And John Brown's body still lies
A-moulderin' in the grave.

That's all for now.
posted by Lauren, 9:26 PM | link

Wow, this is really weird ... really old stuff. The beginnings of a story, a parody on the Iliad, obviously. Sibling rivalry, thus, I suppose, "The Sibliad". I totally don't remember writing this.


The Sibliad

Rage – goddess, I sing of the Peterson’s son Alexi, pouting in his room, punished, which cost his team countless losses, sending to the “Prison” snow-fortress so many brave souls, great warrior souls, but made their bodies prisoners for the other team, and the will of Mother was moving towards dinnertime. Begin, Muse, when the two first met and clashed: Anthony, oldest of his siblings and brilliant Alexi.

And who was it that set them to fighting? It was Eric, the son of Mr. And Mrs. MacInnis, for he was angry with Anthony and put a toad in his sister’s bed to get him in trouble, because his little brother Alexi had put peanut butter in his new shoes and stole his math homework…
posted by Lauren, 9:18 PM | link | 0 comments

As I was digging through a VERY, VERY old pile of *.docs, I found my junior highschool explanation of Galileo, and why he was a jerk. A very smart jerk, but a jerk. Extremely exaggerated. The only thing I vouch for is the ducks.


Once upon a time, there was a little boy. His name was Galileo, and his mommy never thought to teach him any manners because he was so smart. Whenever he would do something naughty like upset the milk pail or pull the dog’s tail, he would explain to his mother that it was no fault of his own and proceed to use several six-syllable words. His mother, not wanting to sound ignorant, nodded and pretended like she understood. And so Galileo grew up to be a bigger naughty boy.

When he was old enough, he attended school. Unfortunately, he was so smart that the only thing he learned was that he vehemently disliked any kind of authority figure who told him to do anything. If any of his teachers ever told him to do anything, he would quite often times do the opposite: if they told him to go left, he’d go right; if they told him to write Latin, he’d write Ukranian; if they told him to pick the chalk he dropped up off the floor, he’d eat it, and so on.

He managed to get through school just by the grace of his God-given natural smarts. When he had finished his lower schooling, all of his teachers told him that at any cost, he MUST NOT GO to the university! And so, Galileo went to study at the university.

At the university, he found not only teachers that he disliked, but students as well. Nobody liked Galileo, and Galileo didn’t like anybody. He would spend his days making trouble for whomever he could. This generally ticked off quite a lot of people, and one day a group of friends decided they couldn’t take this anymore.

“Hey Galileo,” they said to him.
“Yeah, what?” he replied.
“We’re sorry for being so mean to you. Allow us to extend the olive branch. Won’t you accompany us tonight as we go make trouble for people?” Now Galileo liked the sound of this. If there was anything he liked more than he disliked, it was making trouble for people.
“Sure!” he replied eagerly.

That night, the friends came up to Galileo and dragged him out of bed.
“Come on, we’re going cow-tipping,” they said.
“Cow-tipping?” asked Galileo. “What’s that?”
“You will see,” they responded cryptically.

As it worked out, Galileo liked cow-tipping. The general idea of cow-tipping is this: you walk up to a cow and tip it.

The friends were very good at this, especially because most of the cows were asleep. They had a lot of fun and laughed a lot at the stupid things they did.

“Hey Galileo,” one of the friends said, “why don’t you try tipping that cow over there?” Galileo looked at where he was pointing. He was only able to see the outline of the cow very dimly, and he noted that it was very large in size. Since everything in his head told him not to agree with him, Galileo agreed with him.

Very slowly, very quietly, Galileo sneaked up to the sleeping cow on tiptoe. Silently, silently he drew closer and closer and closer... until he was right behind the cow. Then, with ALL HIS MIGHT, he SHOVED the cow as HARD as he could!!!

But the cow didn’t tip over.

It didn’t even moo.

In fact, it gave an annoyed snort.

Suddenly, Galileo knew he had done something really dumb. He looked behind him to see what his friends were doing, but they had all ran away. As Galileo looked in front of him again, he found himself face-to-face with a very large, very angry bull.

Galileo knew this couldn’t be good.

So he ran. And he ran and he ran and he ranandranandranandranandranandranandRAN until he couldn’t run anymore. Finally, he did the only thing he could do: jump on the roof of the cow-shed. The bull, being nearly as foolish as Galileo, didn’t know where he had gone. After a fruitless search, the bull fell asleep again. Galileo, however, was afraid to leave his perch lest the bull should awake and see him again. And so, he lay on his back on the roof of the cow-shed and gazed at the stars. As he lay there, he gazed and he gazed and he gazed, and he began to think about things. He thought about what everybody else thought about and decided that they were wrong in everything, and that he bet he could prove what they thought about the stars was wrong because he was smart and they were dumb. He’d show those... people, those former friends of his. He would make a name for himself and they would be forced to grovel. Thinking things like these, Galileo fell asleep.

The next day, he set about to making something with which to view the stars. Lately, there had been talk of a telescope-type thing that a couple of pretty smart scientists were using. Galileo, wanting to save his genius brain power for his genius discoveries which he was sure would come later on, decided he’d get one, too. So he did.

Then with his new telescope thing, he started watching the stars.

In those days, everybody believed that the stars and everything outside of Earth was perfect. They believed this because some really smart guy who said a lot of smart things and made a lot of sense said so. And nobody could disprove him. Also, science was thought to be a theological thing. If you had gangrene on your toenail, it was probably a scourge from God and you’d be going to hell if you didn’t tell God you’re sorry real fast. And since nobody had yet thought that Martians existed and nobody could find any animals that would speak intelligently, they correctly assumed that people were the smartest things that walked on this earth. Therefore, the universe must spin around the earth. Everybody thought this, too; especially a guy called Pope Urban and the church he was head of. The church had just gotten over a big disagreement they had had with a lot of people, mostly lead by a guy called “Martin Luther” who started those Zion Baptist Churches that you see on every street corner. He believed that if you thought up was down, God would save you if you walked on your hands. But Pope Urban didn’t think so, and they had clashed heads, and nobody was really happy about that, least of all Martin Luther himself. They made him stop walking on his hands.

So when Galileo’s teachers and other scientists heard that Galileo thought that the moon had craters and that the universe revolved around the sun, they saw the word “TROUBLE” written in invisible ink across the top of each page. They warned him whatever he did NOT to show it to the church and Pope Urban. So he sent a letter to Rome telling Pope Urban all about what he found.

The day the Pope got his letter, he was in the middle of doing a lot of important, Pope-y things, when suddenly a cardinal burst in through the door waving a piece of parchment around and around and around before he passed out. From his crumpled hand, the Pope retrieved the piece of paper and read what Galileo had to say. He was so interested, in fact, that he accidentally stepped on the cardinal without even noticing. The cardinal, still unconscious, didn’t care too much.

“Fascinating,” said the Pope, adjusting his glasses, although glasses didn’t exist back then.

Pope Urban was a fair man, and he wanted to hear all of what Galileo had to say. Although, he had had his share of crazy genius, and was expecting something similar from Galileo. Little did he know...

Clapping his hands, the Pope summoned the cardinal back to consciousness again. “Cardinal Antoninus,” he said, “take a letter to Galileo. Tell him to come at once, and ask him to please not walk on his hands.”

So Cardinal Antoninus did. And Galileo came.

“Hey Galileo,” said Pope Urban.
“Hey Pope Urban,” said Galileo.
“If you can write a balanced argument for what you are here proposing,” said the Pope, “and if you write it in Latin, I’ll read what you have to say, but I don’t think I necessarily agree with you.” Immediately, Galileo disliked the Pope. Who was he to be ordering him around? He, the great Galileo? Pope Urban would not get away with that, no sireebob!
“Okay,” said Galileo.

So Galileo wrote a book with three people talking: a smart guy, a dumb guy, and a really dumb guy. He himself was the smart guy, the dumb guy was the dumb guy, and he made Pope Urban the really dumb guy.

When Galileo had published all this behind Pope Urban’s back, Pope Urban was NOT happy.
“Hey, Galileo!” he said unhappily.
“Hey, Pope Urban!” said Galileo, cheerily.
“Why’d ya do that?!” the Pope demanded. “That wasn’t very nice!” Galileo just grinned mischievously.
“’Cos,” he said.
“’Cos why?”
Pope Urban held up the last page of the book, on which was written, “POPE URBAN IS A DOO-DOO HEAD.” “This,” he said, “can get you in trouble.” Galileo completely missed the warning in his voice.
“So?” he shrugged.
Suddenly, a great shout arose from outside the place where the pope lived, “Pope Urban is a doo-doo head! Pope Urban is a doo-doo head! Pope Urban is a doo-doo head!” cried a large crowd.
“Take him away!” shouted Pope Urban. “And Cardinal Antoninus... tell them that Farmer Giuseppe is selling ducks down the street prepackaged and two for a dollar.”

And so... the guards dragged Galileo away and put him in prison where he packaged ducks for Farmer Giuseppe (who, after Cardinal Antoninus made the announcement, suddenly had a thriving business) and was only allowed to leave to get hotdogs.

The moral of this story: always shop around before buying pre-packaged ducks.

posted by Lauren, 9:15 PM | link | 0 comments

From my friend Eleanor's away message:

Have you heard of the Dirty Dozen? The shame of being on the list goes to Senators Ted Kennedy (MA), Tom Harkin (IA), John Kerry (MA), Tom Daschle (SD), Christopher Todd (CT), Jack Reed (RI), Patty Murray (WA), Mary Landrieu (LA), Patrick Leahy (VT), Barbara Mikulski (MD), Joseph Biden (DE), and Susan Collins (ME).

These are the Congressmen who simultaneously claim to be Catholic and pro-abortion.
posted by Lauren, 5:14 PM | link | 0 comments

This is why I will never, ever have anything to do with Scotland.

Or it's part of it.

Nuns????? Men of the cloth??? And they're worried about the dog!!!

America may be going down the drain, but we are definitely not as decrepit as the rest of the world. We have SOME decency. God bless America, folks.
posted by Lauren, 9:45 AM | link | 0 comments

{Sunday, April 25, 2004  }

ROTC teams compete in Sandhurst???? Augh! Look at that -- some MSIs, too!!! Ooohh... Johns Hopkins, BYU, Cameron, Furman, and the U of Southern Alabama. Siiiiiigh.... Wish I could do something like that. Marksmanship team, I. Mwaha.

This from a girl who's nervous about passing the APFT on Thursday. :P Pray for me!
posted by Lauren, 2:56 PM | link | 0 comments

Quote of the day:

Some people follow their dreams, others hunt them down and beat them mercilessly into submission - Neil Kendall

(taken from a West Pointer's away message)
posted by Lauren, 12:51 AM | link | 0 comments

{Wednesday, April 21, 2004  }


If only this were reality...

A comment left on Fr Bryce's blog about Pete the P0rno puppet (warning kids about the dangers of pornography and urging people to give it up) said:

I don't have a whole lot of time. Is this for real?

to which a reader responded

Uh, yeah, it's for real.

The original poster responded a few minutes later,

Thanks, Amanda. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell: while I did have some pornography once, I never had a pornograph to play it on.

posted by Lauren, 11:26 PM | link | 0 comments

From Urbandictionary.com (not recommended for viewing; stumbled across while looking for something else):

fo' shizzle my nizzle:

"fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother"

Should only be used by a black person, to a black person - unless you want your butt kizzled. Variations acceptable for use by whitey include:

fo' shizzle my sizzle = For sure, my sister.
fo' shizzle my bizzle = For sure, my brother.

Whitey 1: Hey man, are you going to the club tonight?
Whitey 2: Fo' shizzle, my bizzle. Right after I watch the game on my televizzle.

Several people on here claim this has been "shortened" to
"fo' sheazy my neazy"
In what way is that supposed to be shorter?

Fo' sheazy my neazy queezy. Shizzle nizzle fissle wizzle. Wuzzles and noozles and snuggle wuggles. I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them sam I am.

A modernized and extended version of the infamous Shakespearean Hamlet line, "To be ... or not to be?"

"Fo' shizzle ... o' no' fo' shizzle? Dat be the quizzle, my south-central British nizzle."

posted by Lauren, 7:43 PM | link | 0 comments

This .... poor ... kid...

I feel for him. I've done millions of dumb things unfortunately public, and my life is being laughed at by other people. But this trumps them all.


I'd like to see him in Episode III ... go kid!!!

(p.s. The Matrix one is great...)
posted by Lauren, 7:21 PM | link | 0 comments

{Tuesday, April 20, 2004  }

Also, I'm officially going to stop posting long narratives from my personal life on this public blogspace. Dr. Frat found my blog (that's pronounced with a short "o") and mentioned it in class today and I thought ... that's it, forget it.

Hi Dr. Frat! I like Latin! May we translate some more Aquinas?
posted by Lauren, 10:02 PM | link


*cracks up laughing*

Today's Strong Bad email from from a CDT Kyle. Probably an envious plebe looking at the firsties with their "Pimped OUt" cars. *snort* Iddiot. ;) Gives USMA a bad name. hahahaahaa.
posted by Lauren, 10:00 PM | link | 0 comments

More quizzes...

In my not so humble opinion, you, of course, belong
in the Picture of Dorian Gray, and do not try
to deny it. You belong in the fashionable
circles of Victorian London where exotic
tastes, a double life, decadence, wit and a
hypocritical belief in moral betterment make
you a home. You belong where the witty
apothegms of Lords, the silly moralities of
matrons, the blinding high of opium, and the
beauty of visual arts mingle to form one
convoluted world.

Which Classic Novel do You Belong In?
brought to you by Quizilla

Congratulations! You're Merry!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HAHAHAHA!!! Holy cow!!! How'd they know?
(In case the image doesn't show up, it says: "You may look sweet and innocent on the outside, but deep down you're a coldblooded killer. You manage to hide your appetite for desctruction and mayhem until you're out in the woods with your trusted confidante Pippin and a bunch of trees, but then you start war-mongering full-force. Patience, little hobbit. You'll get to get in on the violence eventually.")

oh and HA! I am cool ... I re-did the MBTI test, and I am personality type ISTJ. I think this is the same result I got when I hat to take it for UD. The analysis for it is here; they're described as the Duty Fulfillers and possible career paths are:

* Business Executives, Administrators and Managers
* Accountants and Financial Officers
* Police and Detectives
* Judges
* Lawyers
* Medical Doctors / Dentists
* Computer Programmers, Systems Analysts, and Computer Specialists
* Military Leaders

Those are totally all things I find really appealing ... the third and the last being the most appealing, combining them to get Military Intelligence. I rock. My test results were:
Your personality type is ISTJ.
Introverted (I) 79% Extraverted (E) 21%
Sensing (S) 59% Intuitive (N) 41%
Thinking (T) 60% Feeling (F) 40%
Judging (J) 82% Perceiving (P) 18%

(take the MBTI)

posted by Lauren, 1:02 AM | link | 0 comments

Truer words were never spoken...

Lauren: What's your company motto?
Abe: We're the C Co PREDATORS, and we LEAD THE PACK.
Abe: Which is really stupid.
Abe: But my platoon is the BERSERKERS, and our motto is LHGSLDFKJS:LKJGL:SKDJLAHHHHHHGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH which we say every morning at formation.
Lauren: My company motto is SHOOT TO KILL READY TO THRILL, BRAVO!
Abe: That is....
Abe: *closes mouth, wisely*
Lauren: SHUTUP, Morales came up with it
Abe: Morales aka Ancient of Days aka God
posted by Lauren, 12:15 AM | link | 0 comments

{Monday, April 19, 2004  }

Abe (8:20:52 PM): I like cheese.
Lauren (8:20:59 PM): I have cheese in my pockets.
Abe (8:21:10 PM): I have cheese in my mouth.
Lauren (8:21:16 PM): I have cheese in my head
Abe (8:21:25 PM): I have cheese on my mind.
Lauren (8:21:34 PM): I have cheese.
Lauren (8:21:37 PM): I AM cheese.
Lauren (8:21:43 PM): Behold, the cheese
Abe (8:21:43 PM): I cheese.
Lauren (8:21:46 PM): Cheese
Abe (8:21:47 PM): I, Cheese.
Lauren (8:22:00 PM): Forever Cheese
Lauren (8:22:16 PM): (I'm blogging this)
Abe (8:22:20 PM): Oh?
Lauren (8:22:22 PM): I cheese this
Abe (8:22:32 PM): Shut the cheese up!
Lauren (8:22:40 PM): Don't you cheese me what to do!
Abe (8:23:34 PM): Kiss my cheese.
Lauren (8:23:50 PM): Cheese off
Abe (8:24:20 PM): Don't be talkin' cheese to me.
Lauren (8:24:49 PM): I'll cheese it up if I want to
Abe (8:25:01 PM): Lauren, this conversation is really...
Abe (8:25:07 PM): cheesy.
Lauren (8:25:32 PM): I thought it was a gouda conversation myself, but I suppose I bleu it a while back ...
Abe (8:26:47 PM): I stilton understand whey you carried it on so long. You chedder stopped while you were ahead.
Lauren (8:27:52 PM): I'm parmesean you I won't do it again, I was merely ignorant brie-fore.
Lauren (8:29:04 PM): Sigh. All I can say is that you've created a muenster!
Abe (8:29:09 PM): I'm blanking. Sorry.
Abe (8:29:14 PM): You're better than I am.
Lauren (8:29:17 PM): HAHAHA! I won!
posted by Lauren, 9:30 PM | link | 0 comments

Women (especially 99% of the women I know in the military who use the pill to stop their cycles while in the field) need to know this:

The Pill: How does it work? Is it safe?

(Yes, the alternative stinks -- in re: the field -- but it's better than breast cancer).

I'm trying to figure out the pill -- if anyone has scientific data, either pro or con (soas to weigh the one against the other), could you please email it to me.

(As a contraceptive, I am opposed to it on moral grounds; while I don't think there is a moral problem with it as a non-contraceptive, I'm pretty sure the benefits do not outweigh the risks, and I am attempting to collect some hard data).
posted by Lauren, 7:10 PM | link | 0 comments

Feeling temptation while you're on the internet? Howabout your very own chapel on your computer!

Behold, Our Lady of the Kitsch!

posted by Lauren, 6:55 PM | link | 0 comments

And this is why USMA (not to mention Center Stall) kicks USAFA's wing-ed butt:

posted by Lauren, 6:06 PM | link | 0 comments


Okay I have to post this on my Cnytr-blog because of the nature of Cnytrs.

but ... ROFL! The Homestar Runner character video!!!

"In closing, I look good in red. Check it out. *sings* butt-dance butt daaaaaance...!"

FOCL! Homestar does a "butt-dance"! Hahaha!
posted by Lauren, 5:02 PM | link | 0 comments

WOHOO!!!! We have liftoff!

Okay so this paper that is almost a week late, I FINALLY KNOW HOW TO WRITE IT! It was going to be something about Eve and queenship and Mary blahblahblah from Milton's Paradise Lost. I was taking a nap but since I'm mega-caffinated, I was Not Sleeping. Two seconds after I hit the snooze button my alarm, I jumped up with a "Eureka!" to make what Greek dude proud.

Basic ideas of this paper:

There is some controversy as to Eve's position in her marriage with Adam, as it may seem from first glance that she is inferor, a slave. However, she is many times compared to classical goddesses, but most compellingly to Mary, the mother of God. We know that Mary was the handmaid of the Lord, and being conceived without sin (as Eve is created without sin) she is in a proper relationship with God and man. By this analogy, we can deduce that Eve too, before the fall, is in right relationship to God and man -- especially Adam, her husband. From a certain standpoint, it seems that Eve is overly subservient to Adam. But nobody says that Mary is overly subservient to her Son or to God. Indeed, as God is to Adam, Adam is to Eve -- she knows God's law through him as perfectly as an unfallen human being can, and God's law is not distorted in Adam as he is himself unfallen. So if Eve is subservient to Adam, she is likewise subservient to God. (Eve is the first direct handmaid of the Lord.) Mary is queen over heaven and earth, likewise is Eve a queen -- a queen in her marriage and queen over Paradise. This queenship comes from (somethingsomethingsomethingsomething), and we can see it deteriorate after the fall when Eve *does* become subservient to Adam and he a ruler over her.

Basic thesis: the nature of Eve's queenship as analogous to Mary the mother of God's.

I'll develop it and think it out some more later, but right now I"m gong to check my mail and get food. (Later = 20 mins or so)

posted by Lauren, 4:25 PM | link | 0 comments

So I just had a coconut mocha -- the first serious caffeine I've had since Lent, and I'm ... wwoooooow... I have a huge buzz. It's kind of funny -- I feel like Strong Sad on caffeine ... nervous, hyper, anxious, I'm chewing my fingernails for NO apparent reason, and I'm all wound up and ... and ...


fuit salad.... salad.... salad.... salad as a ... rock ....

*sings* I ... have ... the buzz of my li-i-iiife! ...
posted by Lauren, 2:37 PM | link

Raindrops on roses... or A litany of deep theological truth

Mom told me to think of my favorite things when I get homesick. Here's a list I just made:

Favorite things:

spending good time with dad
my parakeets
Andrew and Evan (my nephews)
mom in a good mood
Steph being silly
Matt being fun (my brother-in-law)
West Point
playing piano/guitar/violin
good movies
caffeine without a buzz
gummy bears
my own bed
the view out my window
feeling pretty
cute shoes
playing in the rain
contemplative, unforced solitude
intelligent companionship
accomplishing things
feeling smart
reading/finishing books
taking pictures
St. Francis of Assisi parish
road trips
the sea coast
the moon
clear nights
being good at something
old, familiar places
new things in familiar places
French ballads
French language
feel-good country songs
pretending to speak French
the Beatles
beautiful (esp. Pre-Raphelite) paintings
deep theological truths
deep theological truths realized in Medieval thought
deep theological truths realized in a sudden epiphany
deep theological truths realized and personified in something/someone familiar
deep theological truths as presented in an age-old fashion
deep theological truths suddenly accessible
deep theological truths that no one sees the same way you do
deep theological truths from 30 different perspectives
deep theological truths undeniable and logical
deep theological truths mystical
deep theological truths oh-so-elusive
deep theological truths reflecting true beauty
deep theological truths explained by the saints
deep theological truths captured in sacred art
deep theological truths in analogy
deep theological truths wordless
deep theological truths in conversation
Deep Theological Truth
posted by Lauren, 2:21 PM | link

{Thursday, April 15, 2004  }

Me this morning...

posted by Lauren, 4:06 PM | link | 0 comments

{Wednesday, April 14, 2004  }

I'm not only the SMMMHDH president, I'm also a member.

Actually, I'm not the president. But I AM a member. Join!

Society for a Moratorium on the Music of Marty Haugen and David Haas.
posted by Lauren, 9:33 AM | link | 0 comments

{Tuesday, April 13, 2004  }

Also a conversation I've been having with my friend SarahMc, through her blog, reblogger, and email:

From SarahMc's blog:

Finished "I Kissed Dating Good-bye." Ughhh. Am not a fan of the courtship thing. How, if you really care about someone, could you put so many distancing restrictions on your relationship? I mean, I can understand some of it, and I'd agree with a certain amount of pre-marriage purity, it makes sense. And I agree that you give away a part of yourself when you are intimate -- physically, emotionally, whatever -- with someone, and it's a part you can never get back. And if you give that part to someone whom you do not wind up marrying... well, then, it's tough cookies for you and whoever you do wind up marrying. (Plus, also: pregnancy, STDs, reputation, etc. It's a risky course of action on the best of days.) I also like what he says about marriage being an extreme course of action, not to be taken lightly, and impossible to enter totally prepared.

But not even being along with the person you love? How could you even develop a real, meaningful friendship if you can never talk to that person alone? That's the part that really bugs me. Also, the idea of having a mental checklist of qualities that you want your ideal mate to have... well, I just think that it's highly likely that God will have a checklist of his own in mind for whomever he wants you to wind up with, and the two probably won't mesh that well.

My response:

ick, yes ... I thought "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" was REALLY GOOD ... except for the conclusions he drew in the last chapter! It was like, "If X, then Y. X. Therefore the square root of a million is 3.267" (wow, the first number I pull off the top of my head is my gpa)

However, I will argue that I think the checklist thing is important. Not something like "The guy I marry must have brown hair, blue eyes, he must like spaghetti and tomatoes and must not pick his nose in public..." but something like "the man I marry must love and want children; he must be a man of faith, someone whom I admire, respect, and look up to", etc. And you will forget. And one day you'll be dating a loser, you'll stumble across that list, and you'll say "WHAT am I DOING dating this LOSER?" Also if you keep the list handy and you're dating someone who doesn't fit everything, you'll find out which criteria are important to you and which may be just frivolous. But by no means throw out any category. And of course, have no one specific person on mind when you make the list. Trust me, it's good, very good, very helpful -- it works. I've refered to mine again and again just in knowing certain guys, and then dating them. I remember looking at that list when I was dating Tucker, and noticing he only fit a few of the categories, and being lik "eeehhh... but it's Tucker! IT's fine!" It wasn't fine. When I started dating Jon -- a surprising turn of events for me -- I stumbled across the list, and was really genuinely surprised to see that he fit every criteria. I wrote that list a way long time ago, and it describes my ideal guy -- Jon.

Love ya!

SarahMc's response:

Laur my love,

I think my main objection to the idea of the list is not even so much the list itself as that:

a) it perpetuates the idea that I know what's best for myself, and I don't always
b) people can change... I could have "is dedicated Christian" on my list, but when I meet a guy, he might not be Christian. So I say, "oh, can't date him!" and just be friends -- meanwhile I got off to date some other dude who's not so interesting -- but then dude #1 converts, what do I do? Just dump dude #2?

My response:

Hey SarahMc,

As to the dating thing ...

a) Well, for all practical purposes we're adults now. It used to be that we left the decision of what's best up to someone else, but now we're taking matters into our own hands -- i.e. what we want to be, now that we're all grown up. Dad wants me to be a dentist. Mom wants me to be anything except for in the Army. My dream is to be in the Army, and without that dream I utterly languished. I tried to do what they thought was best for me in that regard, and it almost destroyed me.
And when it comes to a potential husband, that's what dating is for. You know some guys, and they're friends. Maybe you go hang out one-on-one with them with an eye towards a romantic interest. Maybe it's not a real *date*, but you're getting to know what you want in guys. That's what I'm doing right now. It sounds weird at first, but it's not, really. A "date" can be kind of loose.
If these friends become better friends, try to picture yourself having an interest in them romantically, if you don't already. If that doesn't appeal to you, ask why not. If it does, ask why. That's how you get to know yourself that way.

We may not know what's always best for ourselves, but keeping a list will keep you on track. Seriously. If you don't remember your ideals, it's really easy to end up compromising. But it's time to start making decisions.

and to b), you date a person for who they are, not what you hope them to become. If you're dating someone who's not a Christian, do a freeze-frame and picture them 20 years down the line. If, in this theoretical picture, you guys kept up your dating and brought it to the natural end, marriage, you're still dating (in theory) the same guy from 20 years ago -- not Christian. Engaged to a non-Christian. Married to a non-Christian. Yes, that's a huge jump, but still if you're dating someone, you date the whole someone of who they are *now*. You don't know what they'll become. You date people, not potentials.
And yes, in said scenario, dump guy #2. You're not engaged to him, there's no reason why you can't.

I think a lot of dating is misunderstood nowadays as too much of a commitment.
posted by Lauren, 11:59 PM | link

I'm so happy, I found my old journal from ... a long time ago! I started it when I was 16, in that January, because I felt like I had no one else to talk to. Reading over it, I had a severe inferiority complex and a lot of self-loathing. Wow.

I did just come across one of the best and most revelatory (or perhaps it was just the state of mind I was in) conversations I've had -- it was with Jon, early in my senior year. I believe the date was August 30th. I was very, very frustrated because I was dialoguing with an especially smart Protestant, and I couldn't answer some of his questions -- to myself. I was upset and confused. Thus --

Lauren: I hate being a girl. Girls respond so emotionally to EVERYTHING.
Jon: Hmmmm.
Lauren: And sometimes I can't do a bloody thing to STOP it.
Jon: What's wrong?
Lauren: I've just given myself a good explanation of Why I Don't Have ALl The Answers but I still want to cry before I go to bed. [G]
Lauren: I
Lauren: was arguing with [a friend]
Lauren: who is terribly smart and logical etc etc etc -- and somehow managest to be an ultra-reformed kind of Calvinist (which translates to "soft-core"-ish)
Lauren: about Predestination (about 90% of which we're in agreement about) and John 6.
Jon: Hmmmmmmmm.......frustrating?
Lauren: Ah, I was doing well on the Predestination thing for a while before something didn't quite work. And then to try to make myself feel better I tried bringing up John 6 because I figured I knew what I was talking about. but when he said the typical "it's a metaphor" response I FORGOT the Catholic line of THINKING -- not the actual teaching, mind you, the "wherefore" and not the "what" and I am SOOOOO FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF
Jon: Anything I can do?
Lauren: because I don't have all the time that I want to to study theology -- I have to learn two languages (three, when I hit college) and umpteen other things including tons and tons of music to memorize and get right dadadadadada,
Lauren: but then I look at people -- like you, and like [my friend] -- who also have many of these priorites and somehow you manage and I dont' understand why I don't and that makes me so mad.
Lauren: probably not.
Jon: Believe me, when it comes to getting everything done that needs to get done and definitely getting nowhere near it, I feel your pain. :-P
Lauren: I'm young and don't have 50 years in the field of apologetics I'd like to. That's what I tell myself. I'm 18. Or, almost 18.
Lauren: uuuuuuuuugh
Lauren: but I feel like theology should take so much more of a ...
Lauren: a higher place in my studies. but since I'm not taking a theology class I can't. Doesn't mean I don't study it, mind you,
Lauren: but I can't devote as much time to that as I do to two languages and three other classes and three music classes.
Jon: Can I say something?
Lauren: I feel like the attic of the brain is way too crammed with stuff. And somehow the John 6 reasoning fell out. fell out. Kerplop.
Lauren: Please do/
Jon: It's alright.
Lauren: is it?
Jon: Yes. You don't have to be a master of apologetics to be a good Christian. It is less important to understand theology than to live it, you know?
Lauren: yeah,
Lauren: but how can i live it if I don't know it?
Jon: Do you have to know all the arguments in favor of the Real Presence in order to worship and honor the Body of Christ at Mass?
Jon: Do you have to know all the arguments for the Catholic view of justification in order to do good things for people?
Lauren: But what happens if inexplicably I'm plagued with doubts? I love logic and reasoning, what when a Protestant approaches me with what seems wisdom but for an inexplicable feeling of "I know that's wrong"?
Jon: First of all, it's not inexplicable that you will be plagued with doubts. That not a personal problem of yours, that's a human problem.....
Jon: ....second of all, because of your Faith in the fullest sense of the word, you have to defend what you know and believe whether or not you know all the reasons why. This is something I've learned from experience --
Jon: -- when you go to college, you will be absolutely bombarded with things to challenge your faith. There are dozens of times when I've gotten in conversations or arguments over what I believe in. Many of those times, I've found myself speechless, frustrated, and a bit embarrassed because I didn't know how to respond to arguments people threw out at me.....
Jon: .....and when it gets to that point, I can't respond, I just can't. And then there's an awkward silence and it seems like the other person "won."
Jon: But you still have to stick to what you know is true. Then, afterwards, go find the reasons, whether you do that by talking to someone who knows or looking it up on an apologetics web site.
Jon: There is no way you will ever be able to explain all the reasons you believe everything you believe.
Jon: But just keep this in mind: the best argument for Catholicism is living the Faith.
Lauren: Okay.
Jon: That matters more than knowing all the Theology. That's why we have theologians -- to study the theology. :-P
Lauren: [G]
Lauren: True. Very true.
Jon: I didn't mean to give you a whole speech, sorry. :-P
Jon: Is that any better?
Lauren: No, every word was valuble and I thank you for it.
Lauren: Yes.
Jon: Anything else you would like to talk about?
Lauren: Not that I can think of

I also had listed the readings at Mass, which I found especially comforting:

Reading I
Jer 20:7-9

You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped;
you were too strong for me, and you triumphed.
All the day I am an object of laughter;
everyone mocks me.

Whenever I speak, I must cry out,
violence and outrage is my message;
the word of the LORD has brought me
derision and reproach all the day.

I say to myself, I will not mention him,
I will speak in his name no more.
But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart,
imprisoned in my bones;
I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.

Responsorial Psalm
Ps 63:2, 3-4, 5-6, 8-9

R. (2b)My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.
O God, you are my God whom I seek;
for you my flesh pines and my soul thirsts
like the earth, parched, lifeless and without water.
R. My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.
Thus have I gazed toward you in the sanctuary
to see your power and your glory,
for your kindness is a greater good than life;
my lips shall glorify you.
R. My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.
Thus will I bless you while I live;
lifting up my hands, I will call upon your name.
As with the riches of a banquet shall my soul be satisfied,
and with exultant lips my mouth shall praise you.
R. My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.
You are my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I shout for joy.
My soul clings fast to you;
your right hand upholds me.
R. My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.

Reading II
Rom 12:1-2

I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God,
to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice,
holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship.
Do not conform yourselves to this age
but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,
that you may discern what is the will of God,
what is good and pleasing and perfect.

Mt 16:21-27

Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer greatly from the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised. Then Peter took Jesus aside and began to rebuke him, "God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you." He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do."
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father's glory, and then he will repay all according to his conduct."
posted by Lauren, 11:53 PM | link | 0 comments

"The Price of Justice"

Mommy cried again last night
Oh I miss you, daddy, too
Won't you please come home again?
All we need is you.

The soldiers called again last night
And they searched the whole house through
And they said they'd catch you out one day
And you know it, and they do.

Sit upon my knee my son
And try to understand
It's not an easy task to choose
To fight to free your land

But sacrifices must be made
And God, we've made a few;
I cry myself to sleep at night
When I lie and think of you

And how I miss your mommy
And holding her so near
And how I pray for peace to come,
But the price of peace, it's dear.

Then daddy put away your gun
And you can come back home
And you can comfort mommy
When she is all alone

For some are crying out for peace
So, daddy why fight on?
Why fight a war for thankless ones
Who look at you in scorn?

Take my hand, my little son,
And listen while I say
It's you and yours I'm fighting for
You'll rule this land one day

So hold your head up high my boy
For you'll be proud to say
Your daddy fought and won the war
In the good old IRA

No, we will not put down our guns
Till Irish men are free
Till all the men now on the run
Are granted amnesty

Till British soldiers leave our land
And give it back again
Until we're sure of justice
Our army must remain

And until this rotten system
Is smashed complete in two,
Then and only then, my son,
Can I come home to you.
posted by Lauren, 5:57 PM | link | 10 comments

I believe I am coming down with something. One of those annoying coughs when one has a perpetual tickle in the throat, an unsatiable desire to cough, until one has a sore throat, and one's hands are all nasty from covering one's mouth. Also, I'm freezing freezing cold. While it is unusually cold down here for mid-April (like, 40-50 degrees), It doesn't merit the long sleeves, thick woolen turtleneck sweater, and heavy winter coat that I've been wearing all yesterday and today. Ewww.

I've missed enough class that, even if I'm absolutely dying, if I contract ebola, I have to go. Die rather than fail. Lauren does not fail!!!! FAILURE IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Anyway. I had remembered translating the following in Latin class; it was originally written in Greek, but it was in Latin class because we're reading the Latin breviary, and it was in there:

FROM an ancient homily on Holy Saturday.

Something strange is happening -- there is a great silence on the earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep. The earth trembled and is still because God has fallen asleep in the flesh and he has raised up all who have slept ever since the world began. God has died in the flesh and hell trembles with fear.

He has gone to search for our first parent, as for a lost sheep. Greatly desiring to visit those who live in darkness and in the shadow of death, he has gone to free from sorrow the captives Adam and Eve, he who is both God and the son of Eve. The Lord approached them bearing the cross, the weapon that had won him the victory. At the sight of Adam, the first man he had created, struck his breast in terror and cried out to everyone: "My Lord be with you all." Christ answered him: "And with your spirit." He took him by the hand and raised him up, saying: "Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light."

I am your God, who for your sake have become your son. Out of love for you and for you descendants I now by my own authority command all who are held in bondage to come forth, all who are in darkness to be enlightened, all who are sleeping to arise. I order you, O sleeper, to awake. I did not create you to be held a prisoner in hell. Rise from the dead, for I am the life of the dead. Rise up, work of my hands, you who were created in my image. Rise, let us leave this place, for you are in me and I am in you; together we form only one person and we cannot be separated.

For your sake I, your God, became your son; I, the Lord, took the form of a slave; I, whose home is above the heavens, descended to the earth and beneath the earth. For your sake, for the sake of man, I became like a man without help, free among the dead. For the sake of you, who left a garden, I was betrayed to the Jews in a garden, and I was crucified in a garden.

See on my face the spittle I received in order to restore you to the life I once breathed into you. See there the marks of the blows I received in order to refashion your warped nature in my image. On my back the marks of the scourging I endured to remove the burden of sin that weighs upon your back. See my hands, nailed firmly to a tree, for you who once wickedly stretched out your hand to a treee.

I slept on a cross and a sword pierced my side for you who slept in paradise and brought forth Eve from your side. My side has healed the pain in yours. My sleep will rouse you from your sleep in hell. The sword that pierced me has sheathed the sword that was turned against you.

Rise, let us leave this place. The enemy led you out of the earthly paradise. I will not restore you to that paradise, but I will enthrone you in heaven. I forbade you the tree that was only a symbol of life, but see, I who am life itself am now one with you. I appointed cherubim to guard you as slaves are guarded, but now I make them worship you as God. The throne formed by cherubim awaits you, its bearers swift and eager. The bridal chamber is adorned, the banquet is ready, the eternal dwelling places are prepared, the treasure houses of all good things lie open. The kingdom of heaven has been prepared for you from all eternity.
posted by Lauren, 5:19 PM | link | 0 comments

{Friday, April 09, 2004  }

Doing this because I want people to let me know who they are ...

Who am I?

[Updated April 2005]

I am an East Coast blogger finishing up my sophomore year as a classicist at the University of Dallas. I am transfering to Catholic U and moving to DC in the summer. God willing, I will graduate in 2007.

I am, unfortunately, no longer in Army ROTC (2005). I still love the Army; I applied to West Point but did not get nominated.

I am also a Catholic blogger.

I am a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, listening ear, mentor, everybody's little mother, little sister of seminarians and a girly girl.

In my spare time when I'm not shooting things, I like to watch movies, read books, take digital photographs (though I confess I know little of actual photography techniques), and go for long drives on rural Virginia roads.

At one point I had here written, "I'm a linguist and I hope to study Arabic and go into intelligence and national defense -- conveniently enough, the Army provides both of these occupations simultaneously."

I am still a linguist, but I wonder if I am being called to work in intelligence anymore. I will probably end up teaching Latin somewhere.

I was 19 going on 90, but now I'm boring 20; I was homeschooled throughout highschool, and attended Catholic junior high. I have a thing for teddy bears, duckies, bunnies, birdies, flowers, and Father Ted.

I adore St. Thomas Aquinas and Thomistic philosophy and the Dominican order -- I entered the novitiate on January 28th 2005, the feast of St. Thomas Aquinas, in the St. Thomas Aquinas parish of the St. Thomas Aquinas chapter. I took the name Sr. Thomas Aquinas of the Most Holy Eucharist.

I also like Medieval Stuff; I'm definitely a medievalist. If it were up to me, I'd have everybody considering an Aristotelian geocentric universe and pondering the problem of the Universals. I still think academic works should be written in Latin, that schools and seminaries (especially Dominican ones) should learn Latin and learn it well.

I like history, especially Irish history, though it's really sad. France and Ireland are my favorite places in Europe.

I like the Beatles, too.
posted by Lauren, 3:36 PM | link

{Wednesday, April 07, 2004  }


....anyone know what a tornado warning sounds like? I'm told we have those things, and I just heard something weird that sounded like a lightning warning only different. According to this Severe weather warnings page, Ft. Worth supposedly has a tornado warning, but here? It's rather sunny out...

What does one do for a tornado? Duck and cover? What did Dorothy do? Hmmm...
posted by Lauren, 2:09 PM | link | 0 comments

Lest anyone ever doubt ...

Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

posted by Lauren, 1:02 PM | link | 0 comments

Wanting to go into the Army, any health problem makes me nervous.

I've always known that my feet turn out at weird angle. When I was being fitted for ice skates when I was a kid taking ice skating lessons, I was told I have virtually no arch. I thought nothing of it until today. I went to go see the doctor here, because my left ankle was unexplained-ly swelling up pretty big, even partway up my shin. My right Achilles tendon is what I noticed first, though, because it actually hurt. I don't like going to the doctor, I really really don't. But they want us to take really good care of our feet. It's crazy how they obsess about our feet, and they say the two most important things about a soldier are his weapon and his feet. Since this was a foot ailment (basically), I went just because. I was told I have Achilles tendonitis, and that the reason I have it and the reason my ankle is swelling up is because of the weirdness of my feet. Instead of having the force of my body weight spread out over my foot to absorb shock and whatnot like a good foot is supposed to, it's all landing on my ankle, and not going anywhere. If this keeps up, I could very easily develop arthritis.


Arthritis in a soldier is very bad.

So now I'll have to get those dumb arch-support things, and go see a podiatrist. Hopefully that'll fix it.

Look! Another picture of me!!! *obsessed with pictures of self with M16*

posted by Lauren, 12:52 PM | link | 0 comments

{Tuesday, April 06, 2004  }

I love St. Thomas Aquinas.

At this moment, I am translating a Corpus Christi sermon of his, and I thought I would share favorite bits of it with you.

"For he offered his body to God his father for our reconciliation on the altar of the cross as an offering, his blood he poured out in the cleansing-price, so that we the redeemed may be cleansed from destitute servitude and from every sin. And as the memory of such a great kindess would remain in us, he left behind his body in food and his blood in drink beneath the species of bread and wine to be taken in hand by the faithful... what can be more precious than this banquet, by which not the meat of bull-calves and (somethings) as once it was in the law, but Christ taken in the hand, the true God is placed before us? What is more miraculous than this sacrament? For in this very thing the bread and wide are substantially converted into the body and blood of Christ, and whence Christ our God and perfect man is bound beneath the species of bread.... he invisibilly is taken in hand hidden beneath a foreign species; and the senses are restored by deception immune, which judge by his known accidents.... No sacrament is even more salutory than that, by which sins are cleansed, virtues are increased, and the mind is fattened on an abundance of every spiritual thing. [<-- awesome quote] ...no one can sufficiantly explain the sweetness of this sacrament, through which spiritual sweetness is tasted in his font, and the memory of that (feast) is recalled in which Christ in his passion shows the most excellent love."

I most especially like the part about the mind being fattened on every spiritual thing ... awesome! That's the kind of thing that makes my mouth water.


(Perhaps the new description of this blog should be "praise the Lord and pass the ammunition"...)
posted by Lauren, 5:32 PM | link | 0 comments

The picture nobody ever wanted to see ...

... me with an M16!!! Mwahahahaaa...

Yes yes, I know, the first rule of firearms is that your finger stays off the trigger until you're ready to shoot something. Well, the stupid picture caught me in my ONE mistake. I was really very good about that the whole rest of the weekend, I promise.

Apologies for the badness of the picture. I just took a disposable camera because I didn't want to hurt my digital camera, and my scanner really stinks.
posted by Lauren, 3:07 PM | link | 0 comments

{Monday, April 05, 2004  }

I am back from my ROTC Field Training Exercise (FTX), and sore as can be, but ready to take on the world. I think FTX was a life-changing experience - how I act on it remains to be seen.

I have a lot of refletional posting to do, but I also have a paper due Wednesday, a psychology exam on Thursday (will these exams never cease? It seems I've had one every week for the past 6 weeks), a full run-through of Hamlet Wednesday night, and Collegium is singing for the triduum so I won't be at ROTC very long on Thursday and I'm behind in reading "Paradise Lost". I have my work cut out for me.

In the meantime, enjoy this really awesome version of The Soldier's Creed.
posted by Lauren, 12:36 PM | link | 0 comments

{Thursday, April 01, 2004  }


Ewwww.... that's a nasty nasty article! True, they don't bite, or sting or anything, but they're noisy and freaky and gross... ew ew ew!

I'm wondering if this is going to be a mass-exodus thing, like a locust swarm that covers everything in sight. *shudders* Nasty!

This is how sentimental for VA I get in TX: I used to miss the sound of cicadas. Texas doesn't have cicadas (no, they have annoying grackle birds that "sing" at 3am!). However after one night home over spring break, I changed my mind. I would be all set for a peaceful night's rest, totally silent but for the occasional chirping of a frog, and then .... BBBUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH.... AUGH! *kills cicadas*
posted by Lauren, 11:28 AM | link | 0 comments